Regret
by YukimeYamikaze
Summary: All I have is regret. Jintan's POV of story before episode 1 AnoHana. One-shot! Read and Review is greatly appreciated :)


AnoHana Fanfiction

_REGRET_

Disclaimer : I do not own Anohana in any kind of ways (but if I could I will date Yukiatsu 3 oh lulz xD), my first fanfiction and just got the idea because today is my friend's birthday :D ! Although he is not with us anymore, but he will still be in our heart~ this is my appreciation towards him. Hope you guys enjoy it . Any kind of reviews and comments will be GREATLY appreciated. Thankss!

_I can't believe this..._

_It's just been yesterday.._

_Of seeing your smile..._

_And now.._

_It's all gone..._

_Forever and ever..._

It was a rainy day. A gloomy one and not a so-good-weather to play with. And not with what just happened yesterday. Argh! Why it had to be like that? I mean, we were just playing like usual and such, but when we came back to our secret base, it was just like a nightmare.

"Jintan, do you like Menma?" One, only one question, sliding down from Anaru's tongue. "Said it, you DO like her, right? " Yukiatsu followed up. Both already had those eyes that pierced my heart. And do you know what I did next ? Stood there for, like, 3 seconds to absorb what she had just said. And then, I could feel blood rushing towards my cheek. I couldn't think clear and the next thing I did, was probably the stupidest words I've ever said. " W..w..whaat? W-who in their right mind would like someone as ugly as her?"

_As I pointed at her._

...

_Then there was silence._

"Ehe" Menma smiled. No, she didn't get angry. No, she didn't get sad. No, there even nothing sort of curses coming from her mouth. But that smile... oh why it had to be like that. Why my heart suddenly ached so much? And why I feel mad at myself? For making her smiling like that?

I didn't know anything anymore. Then , I just ran, yeah like a kid. I mean I AM a kid at that time. Run,run,run,and run... I didn't care what happened anymore. I couldn't forgive myself and even I couldn't bring up myself to stop. All that was in my mind is to get home and forget all of this.

_Such a childish thing_

_And you will never imagine _

_How much I regret it_

_..._

Forget all of this? Yeah right. Karma always plays its role in the right time, huh? This is what I got next. The news I heard the next morning was the worst one in my whole life. I was curling down at the corner then my father suddenly came up with such a news.

"Jintan, Menma..."

_I did not want to believe._

"She..."

_I could hear my heart beat._

"...died this morning... the current is too strong.."

_And suddenly my heart stopped. _

_And it was all blank_

"Menma..men...ma...MEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNMMAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A!" I screamed. Screamed so much until my throat hurt. I give no more to the world. It had already taken away anything I've been living up for. And if you ask how much I cried. I swear it was 3 until 4 hours and I leave it to your imagination. What I did? Nothing. I screamed,cried,screamed,cried, then shut up because of tiredness. Then I did the same thing over and over again. In the end, I was only seeing nothing, I really felt the emptiness in my heart had taken over my body, leaving me soulless. Perhaps, I had become a doll. Complete empty shell.

Why?

_I haven't make you happy yet._

_I haven't make you smile enough yet._

_I haven't been kind to you enough yet._

_I haven't said goodbye yet._

_I haven't said sorry yet._

And most of all...

_I haven't confessed yet._

Why? That was the only question rising inside my brain and that IS the only question up until today.

Because of that , I have given up anything I've had. I've given up on school. I've given up on trust. I've given up on sunny days. I've given up on my future. I've given up on my life,even to this body. I couldn't think straight anymore. And finally one by one, everyone started to go, they have their own life and forgetting everything to that extent. And leaving me here all alone...

_Not until so many years and hardships._

_Until you come back._

_And turn everything around again._

AnoHana

Okay :D !Please kindly review :P I'm new to this, thank you~


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